This morning, I went to KK Women’s and Children’s hospital for my routine checkup. I am now at my 37th week of pregnancy. Just three more weeks, I will be due for delivery. And I will be able to experience VBAC (acronym for “Vaginal birth after caeserean”), or so I thought… My gynae Dr Tan adviced me to seriously consider ruling out VBAC ‘cos assessing my previous case of failure of dilation over 24 hrs, she can’t guarantee that this time there won’t be complications like before. And end up in emergency caeserean like the last time.
I was a little disappointed upon hearing the news. Call me a “feminist” or just plain stubborn-headed one, but I always believe that women are strong enough to take whatever pain child-birth experience give. They are biologically made to give birth vaginally. So, I used to think that if I end up in a caeserean, I am technically “weak”. However, after having a long talk with my parents and thinking it over and over, I must admit, I am wrong. And very wrong too.
I wanted to say this, especially to all mothers who wanted so badly to experience a vaginal birth but end up in a caeserean one: Do not be disappointed. It is not how we give birth to a child that determine whether we are a good and capable mom. It is the love you give, the time you share, and the effort in making sure that your child is happy, safe and healthy at all times that matters. (And mind you, caesereans have their risk and pain too)
A close friend once consoled me this: what you want to experience in a labour: the contractions, the pain, you have already experienced for 24hrs for your first born. So, why must you still try to go through it again? And honestly, what more regrets you have? It’s true. Each time, I look at my son Mahsuri, I am glad that I have made the last minute decision to head for an emergency caeserean… Otherwise, God knows he might suffer a brain damage due to my prolong labour… And if that happened, I know I will never ever forgive myself.
So, I have decided that this time, I will go for an elective caeserean. And “heck care” about the opinions of other people who don’t know what I have been through. As long as my baby is healthy, that is all that matters. True, it is always better to go through delivery naturally as possible. However, not everyone is born with such capabilities. And if you insist your way, ultimately, it is your child who will suffer because of your presumptous and selfishness. It is always better to heed the advice of your gynae as they are the pros.
Mahsuri just turned two last month. He is a very happy and jovial child. Very friendly and even “helpful” with housework. Always ready with tissue paper or his handkerchief to wipe everywhere in the house. Too much influence of his mommy, who is doing housework half the time in his presence… He is very loving to both his “Ayah” and myself. Always hug and kiss us… 🙂 Ning is all the reason for me to give up my ego and prepare for a smooth delivery so as to bring him a little sibling. And I know, Kamal will thank me for this decision. He had suffered alot of tears and anxieties from Mahsuri’s difficult birth. He certainly deserves a more calm and predictable one this time.
So, wish me luck! If things are in plan, I might be popping next week or so. Will definitely keep you guys inform!